


Raise a cup (or ten)

by Morvith



Series: The world needs more Khirk [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Drunk!Khan, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Groping, Kissing, Language, M/M, Protective!Uhura, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 17:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2740553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morvith/pseuds/Morvith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim only has himself to blame. He had been the one to let it slip in front of Scotty that Augments couldn't get drunk thanks to their enhanced metabolism, he had seen him react as though it was personal affront...He should have known what it meant. (from a tumblr prompt)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raise a cup (or ten)

**Author's Note:**

> BotanyCameos got another nasty anonymous message about Khirk. The obvious way to deal with it is to write more Khirk (her idea), so I asked for Khirk prompts on Tumblr. 
> 
> This was from Narramin, who requested Drunk!Khan and Uhura giving him the showel talk on Jim's behalf. She also asked for Khan with a sense of humor, but that didn't quite pan out... sorry! I hope you enjoy it anyway.
> 
> More stories to follow! If you want to contribute, you can find me on tumblr under this same name.

 Jim only has himself to blame. He had been the one to let it slip in front of Scotty that Augments couldn't get drunk thanks to their enhanced metabolism, he had seen him react as though it was personal affront...He should have known what it meant.

God save him from bored Engineers. Worse, bored Engineers with an illegal still, at least 50 willing test subjects and New Year parties.

 

On the bright side, New Year parties were supposed to be a little wild, right?

 

Across the room, Chekov pulls Joaquim up, both of them swaying and caterwauling something that sounds Russian.

Half the crew join in, making up the words as they go along, and if  _that_ wasn't bad enough, so do almost all the Augments.

Don't get him wrong, they're lovely, amazing people, what with the looks, and the semi-indestructible bodies and the I.Q.s off the scale... but there isn't one among them who can carry a tune in a bucket!

They're so bad that being drunk should have been an improvement, instead they've defied expectations again!

 

Fuck this. There is no bright side.

 

Somebody – Kati or Julia, probably – tries to hit a particularly high note and ends up doing an uncanny impression of a banshee.

Jim winces.

“ Better at everything my ass,” he mutters, then yelps as somebody  _pinches_ said anatomical part.

 

All right, that's the outside of enough! He whirls around, ready to let them have it, but all his words die on his lips when, instead of an Engineer or a nurse, he's faced with...

“ Khan!”

 

Okay, there must have been a mistake. No way reserved, straight-laced Khan Noonien Singh just pinched his ass in a crowded room.

 

“Are you miscalling your ass, Captain?” he says, frowning, utterly serious. “Because you shouldn't. It's a lovely ass. Best ass in Starfleet, or so your Yeoman tells me.” 

 

Jim wishes really hard for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. How on Earth is he supposed to answer this?!

Also, note to self: Yeoman Rand is getting guard duty for the next three months.

 

“She really shouldn't talk about you like that,” Khan continues. “Though I fully sympathize with her plight: it is very nice, especially in those black pants of yours. And you never sit still, either: you're always walking all over the bridge and bending over other people's stations, though I wish you wouldn't go to the Vulcan's so much. It's most inconveniently located, I cannot look at your ass without fully turning the other way, but that would be much too obvious...” 

 

Make it six months. And did Khan just admit to staring at  _Jim's ass_ ?

...is this a joke?

 

“Uh...you're right, that's not very professional of her. Or you.” 

 

Khan laughs – except it's not a laugh, okay? It's a giggle. A  _giggle._ And it just came out of Khan's lips (don'tstaredon'tstaredon'tstare...shit. He's staring.)

What the fuck did Scotty put in his “special cocktails”, warp core shards?!

 

Khan steps closer, still giggling.

 

“Did I say something funny?” Jim asks nervously, stepping backwards. 

 

Khan steps forward again and fuck, he's trying to crowd Jim into a dark corner.

 

“Uh, Khan, I should...” Mingle. Go talk to Admiralty. Fix the warp core. Anything as long as he gets out of here before he does something stupid and makes Khan hate him once he sobers up. 

 

But he's  _right_ there, his nose brushing against Jim's. “But, Captain, you forget I'm not one of your subordinates.”

 

And Jim, like the total idiot he is and without even the excuse of being drunk, opens his mouth to remind him that actually, this  _his_ ship and he's still supposed to submit to the Captain's (i.e. his) authority, but he doesn't get a single word out because Khan's kissing him.  _Thoroughly._

Jim has never been kissed like this before – it's sexy, slightly predatory too, yet there's a hint of sweetness in the way Khan holds him.

He probably shouldn't kiss him back, shouldn't wrap his arms around his shoulders and pull impossibly closer – but what the hell, he's only human. _Vulcans_ would melt if Khan kissed them like that.

 

One of Khan's hands starts traveling down his spine, presumably to grab his ass again and maybe Jim moans in anticipation, but only a little, and then...

 

“Mr. Singh! What do you think you're doing?!”

 

Ow, his poor ears.

 

Khan stops kissing him – he absolutely doesn't whimper at the loss of contact – but doesn't let him go, turning around to face a scowling, glaring Uhura.

 

“Isn't it obvious?” he says, glaring right back, and Jim's kinda glad he's not standing between them. “I am trying to seduce your Captain, an activity I was enjoying very much and to which I'd like to return.”

 

Uhura crosses her arms and starts tapping her foot, only to stop immediately as she almost overbalances. “Not so fast, mister. What are your intentions toward Jim?”

 

Khan pulls his haughtiest expression – how can he still do that when he's three sheets to the wind, he'll never know. “I fail to see how that concerns you.”

 

Uhura raises her chin. “Jim is my Captain and my friend and if you break his heart, it will be my duty and my pleasure to break all the bones in your body.”

Why is he surrounded by people who get more eloquent when drunk?!

“Now, if you're only after Jim's fine ass, I suggest you release him and go look somewhere else. He's not for you, capische?”

 

Khan, if possible, looks even more affronted. “I am not interested in Jim's body!”

 

“Hey!”

 

Khan quickly turns to him, suddenly looking like a kicked puppy. “That's not what I meant! You're very beautiful – it's not just your ass, I love your shoulders, too. And you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, they're like a Caribbean sea...”

Oh shit, Jim's blushing. How is it possible, he hasn't blushed in years!

“But it's not just that, I swear! I am ridiculously enamored with your mind.”

 

He shouldn't fall for it. Other people have tried the “oh-you're-so-smart” route to get him into bed, and he's not saying it didn't work before, but...this is Khan. He doesn't want it to be just a line.

“Really?” he whispers, and he doesn't care how ridiculously hopeful he sounds. He just wants this to be real.

 

“Really. Jim, you... you're _amazing._ Watching you at work is a delight: the ideas you have, your intuitions, the way your mind jumps from astrophysics to ancient literature to engineering and mathematics... Sometimes I wish I were a Vulcan just so I could _see_ , it must be like staring at the sun and I'd spend my whole life just doing that, if you let me.”

 

It's not Khan's usual ornate speech, but it rings all the truer for that: his voice is practically reverent and it makes Jim go weak in the knees. Still, he has to be sure.

 

“So... this isn't just for the night?”

 

Khan shakes his head, taking his hands between his own. “As long as my heart beats, it's yours. Please say yes.”

 

Jim steps closer and kisses him. He's pretty sure Uhura just aww-ed out loud.

 

“A little privacy, if you please, Lieutenant?” Jim asks as soon as he can bring himself to stop.

 

Uhura  _slowly_ turns her head, her gaze spanning the whole crowded room.

 

“All right, I get it, there's no need to be sarcastic. Shall we move it somewhere quieter, Khan?”

 

Khan smiles, happy and relaxed and...yes, slightly besotted. “I'd follow you to the end of the of the universe, Jim.”

 

“Let's not get that far. My quarters will suffice, I think. Happy New Year, Lt. Uhura.”

 

She snorts. “Not very, I just lost 50 credits to Commander Giotto. Oh, well. Happy New Year, Jim. Khan, remember: you hurt him, I hurt you.”

 

“Duly noted.”

 

One last nod then she turns on her heels and goes back to the party.

 

Jim's heart beats wildly all the way to the turbolift, but nobody calls their names, nobody asks where they're going.

As soon as the door close behind them, he lets out a relieved sigh, slumping a little against the wall. Khan's leaning against the opposite wall, already looking more sober but no less interested.

They should wait. It won't be long now, his quarters aren't that far and there are definitely no security cameras there... but Khan's looking at him, and he's smiling.

 

What the Hell.

Jim hits “stop” and pounces.


End file.
